This is 50
My old school friends and I had a weekend away and we laughed as we placed on Instagram a photo of the hall table with three sets of reading glasses – ‘This is 50’ was the caption.
Since that weekend I have had many conversations with women friends surrounding the nature of this transition time, which falls into the pit of the curve of the psychology model, the ‘U Curve for happiness’. These are thoughts collated from conversations with women who have entered the phase of life ‘This is 50+’, yet there is relevance below no matter your turning point in life.
At our age there is a lot going on, a letting go, quiet unheard sighs, even tears, as we are no
longer required in the intensity of the nurturing role as we once were,
our bodies have shed the physical need to procreate, we are in ‘change’ and in this change an opening
occurs into a space for a new beginning – which is wonderful, as the poet Lesbia Harford declares in her poem ‘Periodicity
‘Women, I say,/are beautiful in change,/Remote, immortal, like the moon they range.’
Self stories change
Yet we carry fatigue from the past, from farewells to loved ones and an emotional tiredness from the holding onto our old stories that we are having difficulty releasing into history. Our role, our stories in the world shift, some women comment on invisibility, some on condescending responses from bright young things who are just beginning high on the ‘U curve’ – as Kitty Flanagan depicted beautifully in her show ‘Seriously’.
So it is up to us now to redefine ourselves on our own terms. The need seems to be apparent in many of us no matter where we sit on the professional and family band stands – a need to get to the heart of the matter because perhaps for the first time the years ahead may well be shorter than those behind. This is a true freedom and in most conversations has required a deep period of introspection and often a spiritual seeking. In some cases a withdrawal occurs from social activity a kind of spiritual hibernation, a delving into a pilgrimage if not physical then at least metaphysical. This is 50, can thus create a cocooning effect where the busy-ness is less meaningful and an emergence is sensed as imminent. It
is a massive transition phase of life and yet little is spoken out into the
Western world to offer guidance, there are no rituals – thus there is a perceived aloneness to it too.
It is self care (often articulated incorrectly as selfishness) that will define our next steps. The
flowing outward from us to others, if we dare nurture within, will be an abundance that
will surprise as it gently unfolds – do we dare to let the
petals of our true selves part from their closely held comfort-current-expectation space?
It all brings back to my mind the teachings of Tantra x 3 ‘Sacred keys’ and William
Whitecloud x 7 ‘Secrets of Magic’ as shared to me by Andrew Mournehis (Divine Grace Yoga) in his intensive ‘The Three Sacred Keys to a Magical Life’:
3 Sacred Keys from Tantra
1. Iccha: What’s your heart’s desire/passion/intention/how can I share
from the truth of my being – Recognise your heart’s desire to open doors
2. Jnana: Ways to create/information to know ‘How’ to create and manifest
– discover rational and intuitive ways that will lead you to unlock the
doors your heart seeks to open
3. Kriya: What actions do I take to make a reality and manifest my
creations? – The action, structure and ‘will’ that is required from you to
open the doors
Magic happens when we align these keys.
There is likely already recognition of the doors and familiarity with the locks and a ‘knowing’ of how to open them, we have perhaps even sketched out the actions…so now for the will to
implement the structure to meet our heart’s desires – with the courage, the integrity, the sight of the clear eyed warrior within. Balancing and strengthening at Manipura Chakra always helps here – respect the wisdom of the gut, the second brain.
7 Secrets of Magic from William Whitecloud to challenge you and rock your
perceptive reality view
1. Your thoughts and feelings are not real
2. Your focus creates your reality
3. Everyone has a heart
4. There is nothing to do, but there is always action to take (truly accepting the current reality and then acting on it)
5. Structure has integrity – if the structure doesn’t work change it
6. You get energy from a higher source Always focus on the higher vibration
7. It will always take your will…Take action
And Andrew also asks, ‘Can you be with the tension that seeks resolution…’
Friction out into the world is always created when a skin is shed.
It seems to me it is a deeply felt letting go, allowing the unfolding of that tight held bud …the keys are apparent in the
secrets above – now to acknowledge this within ourselves and begin to allow
an inner heart celebration of love to self, accepted with joy from the
great heart of the universe – the higher vibration you are reaching
A Poem by Pesha Joyce Gertler
The Healing Time
Finally on my way to yes
I bump into
all the places
where I said no
to my life
all the untended wounds
the red and purple scars
those hieroglyphs of pain
carved into my skin, my bones,
those coded messages
that send me down
the wrong street
again and again
where I find them
the old wounds
the old misdirections
and I lift them
one by one
close to my heart
and I say holy
© Pesha Joyce Gertler
References: Andrew Mournehis, William Whitecloud as shared by Andrew, Vale Pesha Joyce Gertler, Sally Kempton who introduced me to the Great Heart, Lesbia Harford, ABC RN interview with Renata Singer for her book ‘Older, Bolder’, Helen Garner, Kitty Flanagan, Jennifer Cope, heart-opened-raw conversations with friends.